We’ve all grown accustomed to seeing busy UPS and FedEx personnel around NASCAR garage areas, but the bright red mailbox in the corner of a particular motorhome lot at Homestead-Miami Speedway seemed especially overstuffed. A few racing folks, it seems, had very particular requests to make of Santa Claus this year.
Tampering with U.S. Mail is a federal offense, but North Pole security isn’t quite so strict, and consequently, the contents of those letters have been anonymously leaked to the media. A few of them are printed below.
Dear Santa,
I guess it’s probably bad form to complain, since you gave me exactly what I asked for in 2011 – the highest number of points in the NASCAR Sprint Cup Series. The problem as I see it is that one of my competitors asked for the same thing, and being the generous kind of guy you are, you came through for both of us. So with your indulgence, this year I’m going to recycle my request and make it a little more specific. In 2012, I would like to have the highest number of points in the Cup Series … plus one.
Also, I don’t mean to be greedy, but if you’re feeling generous, you might want to slip a nice neck brace under the tree, just in case one of those backflips goes horribly wrong. I’m not getting any younger, you know.
Thanks, Santa. You’re the best … Carl Edwards
Well Santa, I thought we had a mutually beneficial arrangement working, but apparently I was wrong.
I have only asked for one thing every year since 2006, and you have always come through until now. Obviously, it’s a one-of-a-kind gift, so I couldn’t help but notice that you already gave it to another guy. It can’t be that difficult to deal with a list as short as mine, so what’s the deal? I admit I may not have been great this year, but I was still pretty good.
Anyway, there wasn’t much else I wanted, and I realize we’re dealing with short notice at this point, so I guess I’ll just go ahead and get my 2012 request in early. Two words: Number Six.
Respectfully yours … Jimmie Johnson
Santa, we need to talk.
How can you realistically expect me to be nice when you just can’t seem to give me anything decent to work with? Really, considering all your shortcomings, I can’t imagine how that sleigh could even get through a single lap at Bristol, much less a full circuit around the world. You are pathetic.
Despite my penchant for verbal naughtiness, I have won a bunch of races and a championship, and have buried a few bucks in the backyard for a rainy day. But in case you haven’t noticed, it’s raining RIGHT NOW – at my house, anyway – and the yard is turning to mud in a hurry. So if you think you can manage to get it together long enough to handle my list, I’ll make it easy for you and cut it down to just three letters. I would like a J-O-B.
I’m interested to see what you’ll come up with, and strongly suggest you get started right away … Kurt Busch
Hi, Santa!
I need your help. I’m getting a little tired of hearing that I got my sweet 2012 fulltime ride in the NASCAR Nationwide Series even though I’m nothing but a pretty face with a pocketful of sponsorship money (thanks for the pretty face, by the way). So I’m going to ask you to give me a little extra help behind the wheel next season so I can prove I deserve to be here. I don’t even have to win a race, Santa; just finishing out the season in the Top 10 would be awesome.
I love hearing fans yell “Go Daddy” – and please let us know if you need any help setting up www.ExpressLettersToSanta.com – but “You go, girl,” would sound really good, too.
Thanks as always … Danica Patrick
Dear Santa,
I’m good. Thanks, Bud.
Your pal … Tony Stewart
Mr. Claus:
Thank you for your thorough and completely satisfactory response to our letter of request dated Dec. 24, 2010.
The 2011 season was, simply put, the best year in recent memory. From 20-year-old Trevor Bayne’s win in the Daytona 500 to the triumphant return of veteran Tony Stewart to the head seat at the champion’s table, it was just spectacular.
Next year, we would like to respectfully request that you continue to give our fans success and happiness not only in their enjoyment of racing, but in every aspect of their lives. We truly appreciate them; they are the greatest gift you could ever give us.
Best wishes for the happiest of holidays and a prosperous New Year for everyone … NASCAR
